What does real self-care mean for you?
How are your New Year Resolutions Going?
Are you already feeling burned out & frazzled?
The start of a new year has a wonderful symbolism to it. We’ve been given a clean slate and an
opportunity to make change. Yet I sometimes feel that it creates more pressure to live the perfect life (whatever that means). It’s time to retire Superwoman and step into our authentic selves.
For me, that starts with real self-care. It’s not a sticking plaster; we’re not patching ourselves up with a couple of bubble baths before soldiering on. Let’s make 2022 a time of real change and self-care that allows us to live as our best selves.
If I asked you what you really wanted from your life, would you know the answer? We’re constantly bombarded with the things that we ‘should’ want; it’s so overwhelming that we lose sight of the things we value. So I invite you to start by listening to your body. It will always point you in the right direction. We are cyclical beings. just like nature, so our needs change throughout each month. Learn to respect the times when your energy is low and you need to slow down. You’re allowed to rest! You can still take care of your body by engaging in gentler forms of activity. Your body will show you what it needs if you learn to listen.
Listen to yourself
Are you in Superwoman, striving towards goals that others have set for you? Is your inner monologue a stream of criticism? Many of us carry the weight of our past experiences and the values that our mothers and grandmothers held. Half the time we don’t even realise it. Your thoughts shape your reality and they can stop you from practicing real self-care, especially if you think of time to yourself as selfish, especially if that is what the women in your life modelled.
Allow yourself to dream and discover what brings you joy. When you lose track of time, what are you doing? When you’re in a state of flow you’re completely yourself. We’ve been taught to ignore our instincts and intuition and it’s time to stop.
Set your boundaries
Setting boundaries can be tough because we feel as if we’re shutting people out. Turn it around and think about the things you’re including. You are the queen of your realm and a mother to the people you gather around your hearth. You’re allowed to choose who is welcome and what you want to take responsibility for. In practical terms this can simply involve practicing saying no. Setting clear boundaries allows you to care for yourself and the people you’ve chosen to surround you. Do the people you love want a stressed and resentful version of you? I doubt it. Self-care allows you to retreat and return as a blissed-out and happy you (rather than stressed out and crabby).
Create space for real self-care
I work with the One of Many Soft PowerTypes™ to empower women find balance and discover what real self-care looks like for them. The Lover calls us to engage with our sensual side, to discover our creativity and delight in our emotions. When we suppress that energy, we deny our right to make space for self-care. When I gather women together, we use ritual to create that space. You can do this for yourself too. Having a bath is a self-care cliché, but it can also bring ritual into every day. Think about it – you run the bath, add your favourite oil, light some candles, play some gentle music and sink into the warm water. Then you emerge feeling replenished (at least I hope you do!). It’s simple yet effective. When you start to view life in that way, you’ll discover new routes to self-care.
If you need to talk about how you can create boundaries & self care rituals for you then please reach out and know that you are HELD.
My Coaching Container “The Calling“ supports you over a period of 6 months to rewrite your story & come home to yourself.
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